are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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