I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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