I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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