It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize