i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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