did you get engaged???
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
