Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
