Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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