I will die if light touches me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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