needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
two words...techno handjob
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
