How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
