Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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