Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
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