I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
