hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
