Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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