11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He kissed a someone with a penis
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
