I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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