well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
