I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
