you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
