Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize