Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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