Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
