He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
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I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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