how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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