great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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