That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
