You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
