You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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