And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
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Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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