We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
