We're like a lot better than the average bears
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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