I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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