Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
