I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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