OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My breasts were aching with rage.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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