on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
