Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Will you blow on my dice?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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