woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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