At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
should my penis look like a turkey
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
