I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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