Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
