Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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