i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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