Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
