Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
