do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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