I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I can text with my tongue
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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