i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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