If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
