Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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