6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
