my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
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