K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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