Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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