he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
