Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
