I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
