im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
